Week 2: R Aryeh Goldman - Aaron Hakohen's System For Mending Relationships

June 3, 2018

Chat Transcript

20:35:38 From Akiva Goldschein : another question I have is why is this sp helpful? He would essentially create a peacful situation without people learning the tools to create peace for themselves?

20:37:53 From bentzion kaminetzky : maybe they all really want peace?

20:38:37 From bentzion kaminetzky : Aaron just gave them the opportunity

20:38:51 From Avi Niman : +1

20:39:43 From David Bergman : Perhaps it's just simply unique to Aaron. Because of his personality, he's able to mend these fences

20:40:55 From Avi Niman : does he see what people have written?

20:42:26 From Yehuda Shmidman : R goldman is on an iPhone, so he probably isn’t seeing any chat

20:47:27 From Dovid Heching : 🤙🏾

20:55:27 From Yaakov silverberg  to  Yehuda Shmidman (Privately) : I would venture to say that the lashon is more focused on the self beating and tzar that the other guy is doing is really bringing the change in attitude. not soser aryehs point.  

20:57:47 From Yoni May : ty

20:57:47 From josh shapiro :    David, it can't be unique to Aaron, because pirke avos charges us to follow his footsteps 'be a talmid of the students of Aaron HaCohen'

20:58:23 From Yaakov silverberg  to  Yehuda Shmidman (Privately) : this whole chazal works much better in scenarios that there is the connection you talk of. but if we do not have that connection it won't work. meaning saying that yenem is connecting with you than you can connect to him. but this isn't such a chidush. to be like aron

21:01:16 From josh shapiro : But aren't we missing an essential ingrediant, we aren't being called by Avos to mend our OWN relationships, it seems there's a power to a third party stepping in, who can help in a scenario where parties involved are at a loss

21:01:34 From David Bergman : true. I meant to make the argument that Aaron's ability to elevte people above their problems by the simple fact that, "hey, Aaron is machshiv me- and him! - we should really move past this." Meaning Aaron was able to use his position to make people want to be better. For us to be like Aaron, we need to work on ourselves such that the disputants want to better because we are getting involved

21:02:02 From Yaakov silverberg  to  Yehuda Shmidman (Privately) : gufa. the point of the other guy being so upset shows how much this relationship still exists

21:03:03 From josh shapiro : lol so we too have to be the Cohen Gadol. jk i understand what you're saying, but i don't think 'great stature' is a requirement, at least not intuitively, i have to think about that

21:10:07 From Daniel Jacobson  to  Yehuda Shmidman (Privately) : My sister.

21:10:12 From josh shapiro : but i hear, if your a Gadol, and you tell someone something that goes against their core beliefs, there more likely to believe you. do we just have to be very persuasive?

21:10:32 From Daniel Jacobson  to  Yehuda Shmidman (Privately) : Sorry.

21:12:10 From Elchanan Weingarten : i always thought it was due to aarons immense interest in peace and they are able to tap into a deep rooted belief that we all just want peace

21:13:09 From Avraham Shmidman  to  Yehuda Shmidman (Privately) : hi daddy! :) i made it ;)

21:15:29 From josh shapiro : Elchanan, true, the focus in Avos is on Aaron's great love for the people, and Torah interestingly enough

21:16:11 From josh shapiro : Perhaps the main focus is love of peace

21:22:27 From Ivan Sacks : STEP 1: one of the parties has to really want the relationship. Without one of the parties really want to resolve there is no start.

21:23:20 From josh shapiro : why doesnt my video switch to the speaker?

21:23:33 From josh shapiro : o, its working now

21:23:42 From josh shapiro : sorta..

21:24:37 From Akiva Goldschein : @Ivan you wouldnt say that both people need to want the relationship?

21:25:24 From Avraham Shmidman : hi everyone! don't know everyone who is here tonight, but to those i do know...hey! nice to see your faces!...and to those i don't know...nice to meet your face! looking forward to the next one! thank you rabbi goldman!

21:25:27 From Ivan Sacks : STEP2 one has to take responsibilty for the negative actions that have unfolded. If no responsibility is taken for this broken relationship then there is not start either. One has to take responsibility even if they were not the cause of this disagreement. Literally one has to surrender his position and or their ego

21:27:25 From Daniel Greenwald : On Desktop (not phone), you can click Speaker View/Gallery View in the top right corner